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of the
and the Nutz......   ....

. . . . . . . . . . .and you'll soon see why......

© PoPs Minsitries
25 May 2001

My wife and I came in from helping a friend who's building onto his house.  We got in and nothing was out of the ordinary.  Then my grandson, Spud, came home.  There's always excitiement when he's around because he's 8yo and ADHD.    :^\

We weren't home more than a half hour and he wasn't home for 15 minutes and he's yelling through the house calling,  "PAPPY!  THERE's A SQUIRREL IN THE BATHROOM!"

So I get up all my manliness together and go to the bathroom off the kitchen. I walk in and told Spud to leave and shut the door.  Immediately Spud yells excitedly, "THERE HE IS!" and darted out the dor as the squirrel jumps from the shelf with the toilet paper bounces off my shoulder, and onto the shower
curtain rod.  From there he leaped over my head and onto the medicine cabinet and across the john to the shelves again.  I pick up the towel, which was  already removed 'by the squirrel' from the towel rod, and I folded it and carefully held it up in front of the shelves.

You see, I've watched "Croc Files" and I've seen how they blindfold critters so they won't get excited.  That's what I was doing.  I gently worked the towel into the shelf and, with my luck, the toilet paper was in front of the squirrel.  I have to remove the roll of paper and get the squirrel.  I did this until I tried to pick it up.  He got a foot hold in the wooden shelf and  came flying out like a shot, up my arm and across my face leaving claw prints across my good looks, and over my head.  I could hear him behind me in the tub and as I turned around to see where he was he flashed through between my feet and out the little cat door we'd put there so the cat could come in and out if the door as closed.  Useless door, the cat DON'T use it and the renegade squirrel does.  <sigh>

I opened the door nearly smashing it into my nose, of which I'm well endowed, just in time to see him round the corner to the hall.  I ran after him and into my den he goes.  I hesitate just long enough to open the bed room door [it opens into the hall] to deter him from going back out the hall while I thought to myself....   there goes my den because I know how destructive a trapped squirrel can be.

All this is rather a blur but this recollection is to the best of my limited knowledge.

In my den I lost him because I'm a pack rat and I have a rather cluttered den.  Then I find him under the snake cage and so the squirrel don't become supper for Goliath, I run him out with a carpenter's square.  He dashes out, up the wall (I have no idea how he did that) and across the window.  He looks
longingly out the window and I know I HAVE to get him out.  I get my trusty towel again and slowly, so cautiously I head toward the window.  He sees my ploy and off the window and over the sterio speakers, leaps fice feet to the family's computer.  I know he's not computer educated.  I flinched and he leaps from the family's computer to mine, and hesitates on the scanner long enough to pin point my location and off he goes again across the monitor, up across the desktop shelves across the printer and down to the desk top.

Now my desk top is like the room in general.  Though I have two file cabinets, I also file things ON the desk in chronological order.  The things on top are recent and things on the bottom are from several months ago.

Welp!  Little squirrely dashes across my desk, destroying my filing system and rounds the desk and out the door.  He ran in front of the sliding glass door and under the open lid of my tool box.  (Why do I have all these hiding places in here).  I think how dumb I was to not have already opened the sliding glass door in the den.  I now open it....    ~8^\

I ran to the hall door in time to see him running up the three steps and just past the open bedroom door that I'd opened on my way in.  He suddenly stopped dead and looked down the hall toward the kitchen and living room and certainly thinks, "That was no fun.  I'm NOT going there again!"  I run up the three
steps while he runs down I promptly run into the open bedroom door.  That was not the smartest thing I've ever done.   <sigh>

I turn around and there he is standing just outside my den door looking at me.  He was certainly thinking,  "STUpid human!"  Then he dashed back into my den and around the desk.

As I rounded the desk nearly tripping over my brief case, I stopped to listen.  I heard nothing.  I still hear nothing that sounds like a squirrel laughing at me.  I know he's laughing hysterically at me.......      He apparently when he ran around the end of the desk, he saw trees outside the open patio door and ran outside.

He's probably telling all his squirrel friends about this place and me.  He's probably saying, "Hey, wanna good laugh?  Go over to that house and......"

© PoPs Minsitries
25 May 2001